Until It's Gone
by Spastic Spastic
Summary: Sometimes people do not realize what they have until it's gone. Cameron learns that lesson the hard way. ChaseCameron.


Title: Until It's Gone

Pairing: Chase/Cameron

Summary: Sometime people do not realize what they have until it's gone. Cameron learns that lesson the hard way. ChaseCameron.

Disclaimer: I don't own House or the lyrics.

IIIII

_So fall asleep with the window open_

_Come to me with the worst you've said and done_

_You'll close your eyes and see me_

_A little death makes life more meaningful_

_I stand no chance at all_

IIIII

After another morning of waking up in Cameron's apartment, Chase thought it odd that he rushed himself to be out before he could wake her. He wanted to give her a good-bye kiss but he couldn't bring himself to disturb her, since she looked radiant while asleep, her tiny body curling into a ball like a kitten. He had gotten dressed as quietly as possible but he saw Cameron starting to stir.

"Chase . . ." She murmured. He wasn't quite sure if she was awake or not - she could be dreaming but he returned to the bed to make sure.

"Cameron?" He whispered.

Her eyes fluttered for a moment until her gaze straightened after the haze of sleep. "Mmm . . . morning sunshine."

"I was about to leave," Chase told her.

"Why?"

There were a lot of reasons why. They weren't exactly in a relationship, this was just sex. He wanted to get back to his own apartment and change into fresh clothes after taking a shower. He had to get back to feed his dog. Maybe not a lot of reasons, but they were sound, but their eyes locked and he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Chase climbed back into the bed and let Cameron cuddle close to him, her head resting on his chest, listening to the beats of his heart.

"Do you think we could ever evolve to the next level?" asked Chase suddenly.

"You mean past only sex."

"Yeah . . ." He bit his lower lip nervously. "What do you think?"

"I really like you Chase but I'm not ready for that just yet."

"But why?" He asked, somewhat like a pestering child. "I mean we're attracted to eachother-"

"Physically," Cameron said. "You are a nice guy but you aren't my type."

"I'm not House," grunted the Aussie bitterly.

Cameron did not say anything in reply. Her hand reached up to his chin and she pulled his face to meet hers. After placing a heated kiss upon his lips she broke away unsure what she was trying to communicate to him through it. That she did really like him but he wasn't the one?

"What? If I become all angry and sarcastic you'll suddenly like me?"

"It's not like that at all!" She snapped back, sitting up in the bed. She let her head hang in her hands for a moment before sighing. Cameron was confused; her emotions were going every which way that they could and she wasn't sure what she wanted. "I'm sorry but I can't love you."

"The story of my damn life," Chase replied, angered at the rejection, before getting out of the bed and walking out the bedroom door. He didn't even look back when she called out his name. He knew that she was only doing it out of guilt.

Her cry lingered in the air and she laid back down, staring up at the ceiling, all too aware that there was an empty spot next to her. For a moment Cameron contemplated a real relationship with Chase. He was a good guy, genuinely, although he had sold out House once. That struck a nerve with her. She could never imagine betraying House or anyone else for personal benefit. Than again others would say it was a weakness.

Besides, Chase could be so selfish sometimes!

_But isn't everyone?_ A different part of her echoed in her head.

IIIII

Life is cruel. It will appear to have left you alone for a moment, to find another victim to lay waste to, but cold reality is never truly gone. It plays with your emotions and will strike at any moment. Cameron had, like a lot of other humans on this selfish planet of ours, forgotten the one rule: Don't take things for granted.

Things can suggest people, family, situations in your favor. People often forget they can disappear just like that and leave you in despair.

Cameron forgot so when life struck her once again she wept for not only Chase, but for the fact that she had taken advantage of him. She had used him for her own needs and than told him that she did not want to be with him. Told him that he wasn't the type she liked.

"Don't die, oh Chase please don't go," she whispered pitifully. He had flat lined five minutes before and she could not believe that the golden boy was gone.

Just like that. He had died in such a cliché way: A car crash. Cameron never could have seen it coming and became blind sided when she came into work that day. Foreman had been waiting for her than informed her of Chase's status. He was barely alive when she got there and when she did get to his room he was slipping away, unable to communicate as he died.

She learned later from the police that the other vehicle had a couple of drunken fraternity brothers leaving the party - that had lasted throughout the night - to get some more beer. They had decided to swerve around on the road, at over one hundred miles an hour, and one of the driver's hands slipped as he had turned onto the opposite side of the road. Before he or Chase could do anything to stop themselves they crashed into eachother.

The impact was so great that both cars had become totaled. Chase had hit his head on the steering wheel, knocking him unconscious, so he would not feel the pain as the front of his car, by sheer force, was pushed backwards knocking shards of glass deep into his chest puncturing his lungs.

There had been no survivors.

_This is a dream. It's all a dream. I'll wake up and I can start over again. Chase will be there and we'll go on a nice date_, Cameron told herself as she left the room unable to bare the sight of her lover dead.

A more sinister voice told her, _You don't really want to be in a relationship. You're only saying this because he is dead. If he was alive and this had been any other morning you would have said hello and carried on with your day. Now that he's gone you have no one to blame except yourself for making him leave with a broken heart._

Maybe the voice wasn't sinister. It was telling the truth that she did not want to hear.

But there was still more in store for her.

IIIII

She arrived home after a weary day of trying to forget that Chase was no longer with them. Her job continued although everyone was miserable. House and Foreman weren't close to Chase but she could tell they missed his presence.

After an hour of mindless television she had a knock on her door. She answered it with the most fake smile she could conjure at the depressing moment. When she answered, she saw a man holding a dozen roses.

"Are you Allison Cameron?" He asked.

"Yes."

"These are from Chase. He said you would know who he was by just his last name."

Her knees buckled underneath her and she had to hold onto the door knob to stand herself up. Tears began to trickle down her face and she sobbed helplessly in front of the confused messenger.

"W-When did he c-come in to se-send them?"

"Bright and early when we opened at eight," The man replied handing her the roses. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. T-Thanks."

Cameron closed the door, clutching the roses to her chest. She lets out a yell of grief after she read the card.

_I'm sorry I walked out on you. Even if you can't love me I want to still continue this fling. Forgive me?_

If she could have sent him a card, wherever his soul was at the moment, she would just have three words in the boldest print the had:

**I'm so sorry.**

IIIII

I'm horrible to do that to them. I know it.

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